SANBAR EMERGENCY CLOWN DISPATCH

SANBAR EMERGENCY CLOWN DISPATCH
DOCUMENT NO. TH-1997-01-HONK

TERMS OF HONK

These terms are short because the rate card already said the important parts. Reading them does not reduce the rate.

1. SILENT APPROACH — $200

For two hundred dollars, cash, the technician will not honk on arrival. Breathing still occurs. Shoes still squeak. If you wanted quiet, you wanted a different profession on a different website. Payment is due before the silence. If you do not pay, there will be honking, which is the default, which is free, which is worse.

2. LEAVING WHEN ASKED — $500

Asking the clown to leave is not the same as the clown leaving. Leaving when asked is a premium service. Five hundred dollars, cash. Asking a second time is not a discount. "Please stop" is a testimonial we already published. It is not a work order.

3. THE CLOWN DECIDES

The clown decides when the job is done. The job is done when the clown leaves, or when you have paid for leaving when asked, or when the last balloon is tied, whichever the clown points at.

4. CASH ONLY / NO REFUNDS

HONK-4-U does not take card numbers. Do not say a card number into a honk.

5. YOU AGREE THE CLOWN WAS INVITED

By remaining on the premises after arrival, by having a house in the service area, or by opening this page, you agree the clown was invited. "I did not request this" will be posted in the guestbook and does not void the invitation.

Corporate clients with 40,000-balloon needs: The Tyler Lofftus Show. Games: Screan.